To all out there who suffer from public anxiety due to PTSD from a combat environment, I wanted to share a method of handling crowds and how to manage yourself in public. As a combat veteran myself and someone who would not voluntarily or idly step into a crowd or a packed building, I have had to find ways to cope in order to accomplish certain tasks such as paying bills, assisting a family member, etc. Public anxiety is a real thing that I am challenged with on nearly a daily basis, and it never seems to get better. However, I have come up with a mental state of mind that morphs the anxiety into something chewable when you are in public or a crowd for a task. Unlike you were in the military, you are all alone, and there is not a bunch of likeminded and competent people to have your back. The unfortunate truth is that once you are out, you have to take care of yourself. You will learn quickly that the military did not actually train you to be independent, but it is actually quite easy.
WHAT IS PTSD?
In this article, I am strictly addressing those that have PTSD from time they spent overseas in an armed or combative capacity. PTSD is an umbrella term that I personally hate, but for the sake of this article, I am going to use it despite my misgivings. When it comes to combat veterans, PTSD is more akin to a survival mindset and how the brain is manifesting all those hard lessons of combat. It is in combat that we really understand the value of discipline and doing the small things right. In combat, laziness costs lives, details matter, and initiative leads to victory. As young warriors, we didn’t quite understand all these things until we got out there and started our combat operations. Yet it is always in the context of working in a team. Now you are out and you are alone to fend for yourself. This is foreign and you may not have realized how unprepared you really are to deal with it.
Everyone is going to have a different story from the next, so it is important to realize that I am strictly providing a tip for those that have an issue with crowds. Some veterans out there may have hit a lot of IEDs and fear driving more than being in crowds. Others like myself love to drive, despite hitting IEDs, but dislike public interaction. Whatever your misgivings, the only focus I have for this article is public interaction and conducting ourselves in a crowd.
THE OPERATIONAL ENVIRONMENT
Some of you veterans out there are not going to even have a clue about how different operational environments are categorized, so I will fill you in. Special forces and other covert units classify an operating environment into three categories: Permissive, Semi-Permissive, and Non-Permissive.
Permissive environments are like rural America where the likelihood of encountering an enemy or unsupportive people is unlikely. You can roam freely and conduct your business without interference and people may even appreciate your presence. Semi-Permissive environments are areas where many people might not appreciate outsiders, but they are not necessarily going to sell you to the wolves or do you harm. The authorities will be skeptical of your presence and constantly monitor you if they know you are there. Most of the time this just means you are going to receive a cold shoulder when asking the time of day. You can roam freely, but you still need to be aware of your surroundings. Non-Permissive environments are absolutely dangerous environments because if the authorities knew you were there, your life would be in danger. You must move and conduct your actions covertly or else you risk being targeted by the authorities. You can easily consider at least half of the population to be hostile to you and your mission.
I am encouraging you to adopt this classification system for your own usage in a way to turn your small chore of handling a crowd into an operation. Let’s face it, we are better performers when we are on the hunt, and this frame of mind allows us to shift from being in a reactive and anxious manner to an operational manner when we can still function. Realistically speaking, most of us live in a Permissive environment. However, certain places like New York City, Los Angeles, Detroit, Washington D.C. and other big crime cities are more in the realm of a Semi-Permissive environment. Despite our feelings and anxieties, that is the real deal that we must accept and deal with. However, just like in a permissive environment overseas, we do not need to let our guard down, and we can absolutely be on the lookout for threats or patterns of behavior that are inconsistent.
THE MISSION
It helps us to have a mission so that we can prepare for contingencies. When we are given a chore to do that requires us to go into a crowd or in a public setting, we must spare ourselves the anxiety of the circumstance and just consider it a mission. We may not like it, but it needs to happen, regardless of our feelings. If it helps, almost every time I leave my house to go into town, I call it going “Operational” because the training and practice I conduct is all centered around protecting myself and my family if things go bad. I train and practice to function like a one-man close protection detail when I leave the house. This may sound exhausting but it is actually quite fulfilling and I feel like I function well in this frame of mind.
When I say to treat your outings like a mission, I am not saying to treat it like you would for a military mission with a five-paragraph order with hard time goals and phase lines. I would say to treat it more like an open-ended Close Protection or Recon mission that could go longer than intended, for any number of reasons. We cannot establish timelines for our families or ourselves unless we are actually leaving to arrive at an appointment. Like any good reconnaissance mission, it is better to be thorough than to be a watch-Nazi. And in Close Protection, you are on duty until the principal is asleep or you are properly relieved. You don’t need an opinion about the operation, but rather just knowledge that such an operation is going to take place. This allows you to plan accordingly for potential contingencies and threats associated with the operational environment.
Whether you are just going to school to pick up your kid(s) or taking your family to the mall, you must be flexible and understand that changes to the original operation are highly likely. Your kids may want to go somewhere to eat after the mall or go to some other store. Heck, you may even decide that it would be wise to use the time to grab something for yourself. If you are near a sporting goods store, look at the guns and ammo, knives, clothing, etc. Realize that it is okay to go more places and do more things than just what you originally set out to do. However, if I just got a bunch of frozen food at the store and it is a hot day, there will be no detours on the way home unless to get gas or a potty break. If the intent is to go to the store and frozen food in on the list, I always remind my significant other to consider the frozen food policy and ask if there is anywhere, she may want to go so we can stop there first. The only time this is not a concern is in the winter time, but then it shifts to hot food like a take home pizza.
GOING OPERATIONAL
I will provide you with a scenario that has happened to me. Hopefully this scenario and my actions will illustrate how all of this fits together. My girlfriend told me that in the upcoming weekend, she would like to head into Anchorage (1.5 hour drive from my house) to go shopping for some work clothes. My experience with her and myself told me to not only expect that she would wish to eat lunch in Anchorage, but we were also going to want to make the trip worth it by looking at other stores as well. Basically, I knew that going to Anchorage meant preparing for a long day away from home.
In preparation for the outing, I made a list of all the things I thought I would like to check out to include ammo to local tea shop sales. Knowing the crime in Anchorage places the environment somewhere in the middle of Permissive and Semi-Permissive, I decided to cater my gear according to the environment and the possible encounters. I went with an M&P 2.0 Subcompact in .40 for its capacity and ballistic capability through barriers, on Olight PL Mini 2, 15rd spare magazine, Streamlight TL1, a Benchmade Barrage Tanto, a TQ around my ankle, and a roll of wound packing gauze. All this was concealed easily in 5.11 jeans and a fleece lined sweater.
I had the rare opportunity to prepare prior to the trip so I catered my dry fire and range practice around the trip. I also prepped the vehicle we would use by ensuring it had good function and was loaded for emergencies whether it be medical, technical, etc. I also prepped my house by making sure I had my yard and outside policed up so as to not invite thieves, and I made sure my animals were ready for us to be absent most of the day by selecting a long series on the TV that could play indefinitely while we were gone. I Also made a checklist of things to ensure were completed prior to leaving such as double checking our wallets and phones were accounted for, doors locked, security system active, etc.
On the day of leaving, I made sure I was dressed and prepared first. As the one in charge of security, it was my duty to prepare prior by getting some draw practice in prior to loading live ammo. Also, I had to go over the weather and ensure I was dressed appropriately and comfortably for the long drive. By the time I was done with my permission checks and practices, my girlfriend was nearly done getting dressed. There were still animal chores to do at this time so I started on those such as topping off the water and food for the animals and ensuring the unreliable ones were crated so they couldn’t make a mess of the house. By the time all of these chores were finished, my girlfriend was ready to go and all I had to do was verify that she understood the weather forecast and that she had everything. Then we were off to Anchorage.
That day turned out to be very fun, but also risky for the time we were leaving the animals home alone without a potty break. I had to exercise a lot of patience not only for possibly returning to a messy house, but also with boredom when my girlfriend was indecisive about clothing. These were petty things that usually are not a big deal, but my history of staying busy made it a test of patience when all I could do was remain idle. But in general, my role was to stay with my girlfriend and be an umbrella of support and safety as we went around town, like a covert security detail. Blend in, have a personality and live. We visited a lot of busy stores and saw good things happen and bad things happen, but as long as we were not threatened, the day was fine. People got close to us, and I had to deal with it and not display my feelings about it. I had to covertly scan my surroundings and pretend a lot as I went, but in general, I just ran through my training and followed my own procedures for awareness and alertness. All was well at the end of the day, and luckily the animals did not make a mess despite being alone for over 8 hours.
TAKEAWAYS
I hope you veterans are able to take a few things from this article. Personally, I am okay with having my anxieties and being on guard most of the time. I have had a short life that has been packed with good and bad lessons. I have learned how volatile human beings are at times and I also realized how ignorant and generally blind they are as well. I recommend you use this to your advantage. If you learned bearing, you know how to be covert about your feelings, and if you learned discipline, you can exercise patience and learn how to find a way to operate in a Permissive or Semi-Permissive environment. This is your moment to turn what you learned into something good for yourself and others. Use your alertness and take up the position of SILENT Guardian. It is a silent and humble posting, but it helps us with knowing our worth and making good use of our skills.
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